Category Archive Self- Esteem

ByAnxious Minds

Self Esteem 9

Expecting your spouse to be perfect is terribly unrealistic and can cause you to become unhappy when certain expectations are not met, you aren’t perfect, so don’t expect perfection from your spouse; be aware of his/her limits and work towards bringing out the best instead. This can make you feel good about you. Undue criticisms of your partners or spouses habits or actions can create a strain on the relationship; gentle reproofs can stroke the ego well enough to cause a high self-esteem in spite of weaknesses. When you are in the process of strengthening certain weakness, you should be specific about what you want to change and how you want to change them as this can help you embark on your plan with focus and enthusiasm.

To keep that feeling of self worth, you can go out each night with friends to talk about your achievements of the week; these little exercises can make you feel good about yourself because it focuses on your victories not your losses. Watching a motivational show or movie can rev up your engine and have you raring to go; these movies are psychologically inclined and are designed to boost your self-esteem.

You can access information about how to enhance your self-image by browsing the internet where there is a whole world of information about self-esteem and its advantages. Experience can impact on your self-esteem; if you have had bad experience then chances are, your ego may have received a severe blow; you can still be confident, however, in spite of your experiences just be determined to succeed no matter what you have been through. Our attitudes are factors that determine how much confidence we have in our lives; how you respond to a particular situation matters and can have you feeling good or bad.

Psychologists are propounding the assumption that self-esteem is a product of the environment; to a large extent, this is true, but, your mind also plays a major role in how you feel about yourself. When you are feeling blue, a cozy afternoon or evening spent watching your favorite television show or movie can do wonders for you and has the ability to make you feel better.

You can help your child feel special if you let him/her voice out his side of an incident before passing judgment. It is crucial to your self-esteem, if you will join a group that shares your opinions and visions so that your self-esteem will not take a hard beating from people who don’t. Making a decision and doing nothing about it erodes your feelings of self-worth quickly because you subconsciously despise yourself for your inability to take action; so, take action to make your decision and actuality.

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ByAnxious Minds

Self Esteem 8

While it is good to constantly assess yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, it could also backfire and cause you to overly criticize yourself. Strike a balance by accepting your weaknesses and revealing in your strengths. Helping other people find their way in life can help you feel good about yourself because you may discover more pleasant things about yourself in process. Set realistic goals for yourself that you know you are capable of achieving; any unrealistic goal tends to get you down in the dumps much faster than anything else.

No matter how hard people try to push you up to achieve a particular dream, they can only go as far as you let them a high self-esteem allows you to exceed your limitations and live your dreams. Praising your partners efforts in a marriage can have a stabilizing effect on your marriage because he/she feels needed and loved and eventually gives back what is felt.

Making a list about your strengths can help you evaluate your areas of weaknesses and devise new ways to improve on them. It enhances the way you think and feel about yourself. Make a game out of self-esteem exercises with your children; things are more easily recalled when they are fun and exciting to remember. The key to living a truly successful life full of zeal and self-assurance is to enjoy where you are on the way to where you want to be.

Each human being has a low and high period in times of depression or low self-worth, do something you love it will help you feel good again. What do you see when you look into the mirror? If you don’t like what you see, change it by telling yourself what you see is just fantastic.

Exercise has been known to increase feelings of self-worth in people so hit the gym the next time you are feeling low. Attempting to change all your weaknesses at a go can prove demoralizing instead, start on the little ones and progress to the big ones; you will achieve more this way.|Your philosophy, if you are ready to make it in life is to be persistent in spite of all odds; try and try again and even though you don’t get what you want, you build your ability to persevere.

ByAnxious Minds

Self Esteem 7

Lack of self-esteem or low self-confidence is a condition that affects millions of people worldwide; it does not discriminate as it affects people developed nations as much as those in underdeveloped nations. You must master the art of blocking negative thoughts if you are to be a person who has a high sense of worth in his/herself; negative thoughts can cause you to believe you are nothing and can sap you of the will to live. Self-affirming words are very powerful and have the effect of making you feel totally invincible; you can come up with self-affirming words that laud your talents and person and say them to yourself each day to boost your morale.

There have been countless stories of people who excelled in spite of their physical limitations or other failures; Abraham Lincoln, Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder and lots more. What all these people have in common is the fact that they believe that they are unbeatable. A network of people who are supportive and loving and who constantly affirm their faith in you and your abilities can be of immense help to you; because they help you keep a good self-image in your mind.

In a marital relationship, self-esteem is an important ingredient that helps to hold the union together; consistent display of affection of core can do wonders for a doubtful insecure partner. Do you know that there is power in the simple act of listening; paying close and interested attention to a person speaking to you can heighten their sense of importance? A steady flow of sincere compliments towards your partner can be a tonic for a depressed spirit and low confidence; there is no better machine for low self-esteem than knowing that your partner thinks you are the most wonderful thing that happened since the invention of the internet.

Remembering that all human beings are flawed can help you feel more of a person, especially if you are fixated on being perfect; our imperfections are actually what helps us to become who we truly are. Eating right also triggers off good feeling about yourself because it makes you feel responsible and mature, able to make the right decisions.

Although competition is good because it fosters creativity and enhances productivity, emphasis on competition as a defining factor of who you are can be detrimental to you because you define the competition, it does not define you. You can develop a mantra with your kids help to sink into their subconscious, the fact that they are important; an example of such is; you are the best or something equally strengthening. An optimistic spirit is one that simply focuses on the potential good of every situation; such a person is bound to milk every opportunity that comes along and excels no matter what.

ByAnxious Minds

Self Esteem 6

Sometimes as your children grow up into teenagers, they may find it hard to handle rejections for a variety of reasons; in an instance like this, you should be there to encourage your child to help him feel good about themselves. Part of self-esteem lies in the process of discovery; the more a child knows he/she is capable, the more confident they get this pathway to discovery may include controlling your child in a music class or encouraging him to join a football team.  A high level of self-esteem in a child helps him/her to stand up after each fall and that in itself, is the key to sure success.

Knowing who your children’s friends are is important because you can determine if your child will be impacted negatively or positively by them. Nowadays, to evaluate the level of self confidence a person has to psychologist gets him/her to write a test which is capable of determining a person’s level of self worth. You can go to your doctor if you want to know and have the test done.

A self-confident person is one who is able to look away from his/her mistakes after learning from them and moving on this ability distinguishes him/her wherever he/she goes.|People are products of the society and the society is a product of people’s activities; a society with people who are self-assured is one that will definitely thrive parents should bear in mind when bringing up their children. Getting involved in what your children are doing is one way to make them feel that they are important for you and helps them feel confident.

Research shows that self-esteem is better instilled in a child during his childhood because it is his formative stage and he/she is impressionable. Self-esteem has its roots in the way you see yourself; this vision could severely hamper your career, marriage or life if it is not a positive one.

Self-esteem is essential if you want to live a truly successful life because it dispels fears and pumps you up to meet any obstacles life may place in your path.|As a parent, you should let your child know that decision making is also part of being confident; a child’s ability to make sound decisions should be accompanied by the realization that he is going to be responsible for them. This increases his perception of himself in a good way.| As a society, parents, friends, teachers and future spouses all play a vital role in the shaping of a person self-perception about himself or herself; how you see yourself depends largely on how others see you.

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ByAnxious Minds

Self Esteem 5

The opposite of being confident is to be narcissistic; this is a negative impact of erroneous self-esteem coaching that involved the child becoming obsessed with his qualities to the extent that he/she is self-focused and cannot do much; to avoid this, desist from over-praising your children. Having self-confidence in just the right thing that prepares you to take on any challenge, take it apart and live a peaceful life; self-esteem is not the absence of conflict or troubles, it is the assurance that through them, you will come out a stronger, better, person. A good way of instilling a sense of self-worth in yourself is doing the things you love as a human, you have both strength and weaknesses; focusing on what you are good at ups your confidence levels.

Being self confident is far from being perfect; the danger in thinking that you have to be perfect to be self-confident is realizing and accepting them with a calmness of mind. Taking care of children requires much more than buying food and clothes for them. It entails getting them ready to live their lives with daring and optimism by imparting the gift of self esteem to them.

When you are confident about yourself, that means that you can freely express what you know and believe in without fear because your belief system is ultimately a part of you.|You can help your children with their homework, be a role model in every area of your child life and watch your child take steps to become as self-assured as you are. The disintegration of the family unit can have the devastating effect of demolishing a child’s confidence; if you are in the middle of a divorce, your children are more vulnerable. You should be open about what is going on and constantly re affirm your love and affection for your child.

Spending quality time with your children can help them feel secure and loved; you can bake a batch of cookies in the kitchen with your daughter or have your son go down a trail with you on a bicycle. These activities strengthen the bond between you and your children.|A confident person is one who is willing to take risks because he/she knows that life is not without its risks you should teach your children the need to be fearless in the face of challenges and courageous in the face of risks.

Constructive criticism is a tool that every parent must use when training a child to be confident; it involves drawing a child is attention to wrong doing and instructing the child on the right way to go about things, this will help the child know right from wrong.|Self worth development in the child begins at birth; research shows that babies that are cared for more, do well in their childhood years than those who are not. The role of a parent in developing a child is self-esteem cannot be over emphasized; substituting television to teach a child what he/she needs to know is wrong because the child can pick up quite a number of wrong lessons from the television.

ByAnxious Minds

Self Esteem 4

Parents should endeavour to pay more attention to a child who may be performing poorly at school as this might be an indication of a lack of or depreciating confident in the child; such attention can help the child straighten things out much faster than if he/she was being ignored.|Children sometimes pick on certain people and model themselves after them because they are in awe of the person’s self-esteem; be sure to know your child’s mentor as this may be the undoing of a child especially if the mentor is an unsavoury character.|Comparing your children to other children have a damaging effect on their morale; your child is different and unique stressing this makes him/her feel important.

You can help build up another person’s self-esteem if you notice that person has little confidence; this assistance can end up benefiting you too because you learn more about your abilities and your strengths in the process.| Social impairments such as stuttering have been attributed to a low self-esteem or low confidence; it is evident that self esteem is a trait that should not be taken for granted and should, therefore, be acquired diligently.}

The difference between an achiever and what society labels a failure is self-worth how you see yourself can influence your attitude, your job and even your relationships.it is crucial then to see yourself as nothing less than an achiever.|Positive thinking is an important component of self-esteem that can influence a person positively; thinking good thoughts about yourself ultimately heightens your belief in yourself and abilities and helps you excel in all that you do.|Parents must know that kids are fragile beings with egos that can be easily dented; if you want to correct your child, you should gently explain why he/she is being punished; understanding the reason can help them accept it and stall any anger or resentment later.

The school a child goes to is very important as the teachers are the second agents of education after the parents of the child; picking a school that is goal oriented and superbly adept in relational skills is vital.|Establishing an open and honest relationship with your child will help him/her confide problems and challenges they face in school in you.

Shakespeare says that some people have greatness thrust upon them, others have to work to it; confidence is not thrust upon you, you have to work for it; it can be a gruelling task but the results make the effort worthwhile.|Teaching your children how to be independent is all part of the self-esteem process; a child who is assured that he can do anything without much supervision by the parents gradually feels confident about his/herself.|You can learn how to build your self-esteem by purchasing tapes videos, CD or DVD on self-esteem and confidences, these messages are produced for the sole purpose of helping you realize what you are capable of.

ByAnxious Minds

Self Esteem

Constant praise of your children when they perform well has a good effect because it infuses them with a sense of confidence and pride; however, be careful not to over do it. The way you relate with your children is important because it determines how well a child will eventually handle things in life; an intimate relationship encourages honesty and mutual respect which will aid the child mature properly where as a cold distant relationship may be harmful to the child is the mentality. Strive to help your kid think good things about himself/herself because thinking the opposite will diminish their self worth and make them feel useless.

If your child is intellectually impaired, getting to know all about his/her condition is a way to help you cope. Help your child heal or have high esteem in spite of his/her condition. The thing you must never do is to shield your children from the realities of life because then, you’ll be doing more harm than good. the slightest challenge can crush them instead of strengthening them.

Enrolling your kids in a summer camp program that stresses on self-esteem and confidence are one way of fostering a feeling of self-worthiness in them. Having a teenager can be a challenging experience, especially if you have not prepared him/her to face certain hurdles unflinchingly a good foundation in self-esteem can reduce a lot of your fears and anxieties about your teenager.|The main objective of developing your child’s self-esteem is to help him/her persist in life in spite of obstacles and succeed.

Self-esteem is not hereditary nor is it a natural endowment; it is a human characteristic that must be built with dogged determination and a strong will both on the part of the parent and on the part of the child. The the essence of self-esteem is to be optimistic in every venture because optimism takes stock of both strengths and weakness focuses on the strengths and sees success at every turn that is one hell of a gift to give to your child.

The calibre of people around you can determine how far you can go in life; people who bruise and batter your ego at every turn can turn you into a whimpering helpless human being so try and draw people who have high levels of self-esteem around you. The absence of self-esteem in a person comes with a painful ignorance of the persons potentialities or abilities; what you know about yourself can determine your success or your failure. Being the butt of jokes and teasing all the time can damage a child’s feeling of self-worth; as a parent, you should be careful to keep teasing or jokes light and down to a bare minimum and teach the child to disregard the jokes of other kids in his/her school.

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ByAnxious Minds

children’s self-esteem

You should know that the human ego is not present only in adults; children also have an ego that needs to be stroked with the utmost wisdom to bring out the best of the child. A child needs to be constantly praised when he/she does good deeds and does not detract from the flipside which demands that correction to be affected when he/she does wrong; however, the parent should be open about the reason why the corrective measure is being given to the child.|Encouraging your childrenís innate abilities or talents gives them the confidence to exhibit them more openly and successfully as they grow up.

Confidence and self-esteem help to enhance the social skills of your children; engaging them in various social activities such as camping, sports and the lives can help them polish their social skills. Children who suffer from a poor self-image about themselves eventually proceed to fail at everything they touch; their careers, relationships and dreams those that have a high self-image are just the opposite, they excel in everything they do.

Self-esteem has a lot to do with the way a person views himself as a man thinkethí, so he is thinking good things about yourself can go a long way in helping you easily foster the same in your children.|Mentally handicapped kids who have a learning defect also need to feel good about themselves fact, they need more than an extra boost in their level of self-confidence than other normal children do .some kids with this defect have been known to become well because of their parent’s belief in them. Statistics link happy people to the possession of a high level of self-esteem this only goes to show that people who are enthusiastic have a high level of belief in themselves and are mostly achievers.

Building self-esteem can be a fun game instead of a nerve-racking your child doing things together can make life interesting and help your child know that you value his/her opinions. |Sociological studies show that parents are the most important agents in a childís life because they are responsible for helping a child form the opinions or views that he/she eventually uses to respond to life..your role as a parent in shaping good opinions in your kids is therefore vital.

Get your child to stand in front of a mirror and examine herself or himself and repeat words that boost his/her morale; the essence of this exercise is to imprint a positive self-image in the mind of the child.|You should be able to encourage your children in what you observe they are naturally good at; enroll your child in a music school if you notice that he/she has a flair for music building on the existing abilities of your children is one way to make them believe in themselves. The best time to build self-esteem in a person is when he/she is a tender because at this point the child is developing a reservoir of beliefs that will not be so easy to dislodge at a later stage.

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ByAnxious Minds

Building Self Confidence

Liberate yourself – Go out and do what you like! – How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines or something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment. Life, if see, is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it.

However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly your purpose was, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. Itís our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart. The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realise it.

Find your flock – Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural. Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it is easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides a platform for the same.

Set Achievable Goals and Go for it! – The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is, to begin with, a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of the mountain too would someday be under your step. The only way to do something is to GO FOR IT! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it is a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.

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ByAnxious Minds

Hobby ideas and distraction tasks

Mental health issues can sometimes become so overwhelming that you may find yourself in isolation and feeling unable to do anything enjoyable. A coping technique that is often suggested is ‘distraction tasks’. The purpose of distraction tasks is taken your mind away from the negative thoughts until you feel you are able to deal with them, as well as being able to find some happiness in your day-to-day life.

Finding your hobby

First, consider what your favourite past time is?

Hobby enthusiasts know that spare time is not to be “spent” but savoured. If you have a past time you enjoy, you will never look at your spare time in the same way again. If you’re not sure what past time hobby you would enjoy, here are some suggestions.

Many people listen to music as a favourite past time. There is much you can learn about any style of music. You can learn composers, famous melodies, and all about performers past and present. Or, you could pick up an instrument that you love the sound of and learn to play. Or it may be that you simply love to listen to music and having it on can have a positive effect on your mental health.

Animals are also a popular hobby. It could be that you would like to learn more about a species, both the different subtypes or the anatomy and behaviours. It may be you could try bird watching, this is turn will give you an education on the subject. It could be that you get a pet; although sometimes expensive to look after, if you care for an animal it can be rewarding, and can give you a sense of purpose to look after something else other than focussing on yourself, additionally it promotes you to become more active and to get out of the house more as they will need walking. Some people have therapy dogs, which are dogs that have been trained to provide affection and comfort to their owners, however, many dogs will be affectionate and loving without the training.

Become active; getting into a sport of any sort may start out as being challenging, however, once you get into it, there are many physical benefits which, in turn, may help improve your mental health. Becoming active is not restricted to games and group sports like football, or high intensity work out such as weight lifting, but can include activities such as jogging, walking, swimming, cycling and many other things.

Do something artistic; doing something creative can also have benefits for your mental health. Creative tasks that you could try can include drawing, painting, building, sculpting, crafting, sewing, knitting, and many more. Artistic distraction tasks can be used as mindfulness, it can have a calming effect, and also there is a sense of achievement by being able to see something physical that you have achieved.

There are many other options too such as learning a new language, learning about history an science, photography, gardening, fishing, chess and other board games, writing, reading and so many more.

The world is full of interesting things to learn and do, and it’s just about finding what is best suited for you, which may not include anything suggested here, but keep trying and exploring things you can occupy your mind with and you may find that it is highly beneficial for your mental health. Do something that is meaningful to you and promotes happiness in your life.

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ByAnxious Minds

3 “Must Do” – Steps To A Happier & Healthier Day

Losing weight and maintaining the weight loss for an extended period of time requires some simple lifestyle adjustments. As long as you keep your adjustments within a sustainable reach, you should be able to lose weight and keep it off without much shock and interruption to your daily life.

Not surprisingly, losing weight does not have to require extended trips to the gym or engagement in some fad diet. Here are there steps to a healthier day that can help you slim down on weight without slimming down in your free time.

Exercise Daily

Daily exercise can make a difference in your body shape and in the way your body processes calories. When you exercise, you work your heart, mind and body. You are building your muscle mass, which in turn will increase the effectiveness of your metabolism.

Additionally, you encourage your heart to pump blood throughout your body more effectively, which means that you will have healthier blood and a reduced risk of heart disease. You reduce fatty deposits, which in turn helps reduce your risk of many health problems, such as diabetes. You also increase the number of endorphins that flow through your body, which means that you will note an increase in your positive attitude.

It does not require a large amount of time exercising to receive all of the above benefits. You simply need to work out regularly for a minimum of half an hour. Working out means taking a two-mile walk at a fast pace, throwing a Frisbee or riding a bicycle. Whatever the workout is, keep in mind that it should elevate your heart above it standing heart rate and it should make you breathe slightly heavier than normal. It is also good if you can break a sweat or feel your muscles challenged.

Eat All Things in Moderation

When you are trying to lose weight or sustain lost weight, it is vital that you allow yourself to eat all foods, but eat the unhealthy ones in moderation. The primary reason for many diets to fail is that people reduce the foods that they allow themselves to eat so drastically that they feel anxious after awhile eating the same things time and time again. When you allow yourself to give into simple cravings, you are rewarding your body and making it less tempted to crave larger portions of the bad foods.

You should also eat small portions of every food, regardless of its nutritional content. Eating smaller portions will help your stomach adjust to consuming less food. You can also drink water to help you feel full. American’s especially have a habit of eating more than one portion of food per meal – so be aware of your food portions!

Call a Buddy

Studies prove that having a Buddy help you work out increases your chances of maintaining a diet, exercise routine, or long-term weight loss. Buddies are fabulous motivators. They will keep you attuned to your habits and help you feel accountable throughout the day. If you must, enlist the help of a partner to be an appointed weight loss guardian. He or she will be tasked with ensuring that you stick to your weight loss goals by encouraging you to report your progress several times a week.

ByAnxious Minds

An Introduction to Self Esteem

Self-esteem is today one of the main and most important topics discussed in psychology. In our ego-centred societies, reaching a high level of self-esteem for yourself is seen as a form of success, or even of completion. The importance of the concept of self-esteem sometimes shows through declarations made by the States themselves, as it was the case in California in 1990, with the California Task Force to promote self-esteem and responsibility: “the lack of self-esteem is central to most personal and social ills plaguing our state and nation”. The words that are being used here can seem unusually strong compared to the perceived importance of the issue by the general public.

To assess the real, accurate weight of the notion of self-esteem in our society, let us first try to define the concept. Self-esteem is actually a fundamental concept of the personality, encompassing three major components of the Self: behavioural, cognitive and emotional. First, the behavioural aspect of self-esteem can be found in how the latter has a power of influence on our capacity to take action and how it feeds itself and grows along with our successes.

Then, the cognitive aspect is expressed through the fact that self-esteem is highly dependent on how we judge ourselves, and how this judgement can also influence our level of self-esteem. Finally, self-esteem is linked to emotions as it relies on our basic mood while also greatly influencing it. In a nutshell, a good level of self-esteem can help you be emotionally stable, perform a reliable and accurate evaluation of yourself and engage in action more easily.

In most cases, self-esteem is adjusted depending on the people present in our immediate environment. In reality, the concept of self-esteem cannot be conceived outside of a social group, a social environment. How would you judge yourself if you had nothing to compare yourself with? Many studies have shown that for most of us, it is very important to be “better than average effect”. In other words, our self-esteem is mainly based on how we perceive ourselves in comparison to the others, where we place ourselves in the ‘people living on this planet’ ranking table.

It may be surprising, but the crushing majority of people actually do believe they are better than others. In that regards, 90% of businessmen think of themselves as superior to the average businessman, 70% of top university students think they are more intelligent than average and 90% of high-school teachers believe they are better than their colleagues. When it comes to friends, people still believe they are better than them, but they nevertheless consider them as being much better than the average person. It can seem nice at first sight, but this is actually related to our own self-esteem: if my friends are great people, and I happen to be even greater than them, I must be a really exceptional person!

For some academics, self-esteem can even be regarded as a “sociometer”. This means that we base our own self-esteem on whether people like or reject us, on where we feel we belong in the social scale of our environment. The more approbation one receives from his peers, the higher his self-esteem is likely to be. What is important here is to feel loved, but not so much to be dominant. Being appreciated is more important than being the best, and this is where self-esteem differs from the notion of leadership – leadership is more likely to trigger self-satisfaction. We can take the example of a school class to illustrate this example: the most popular kid in the class can have more self-esteem than the kid getting the best grades.

The roots of self-esteem go back to the childhood of a person, and more precisely to the relationship that person had with her parents. Indeed, to saw its seeds in the long term, self-esteem needs to be nurtured with the unconditional love of the parents, a form of love that is completely disconnected from performance – may it be good grades, sports performances or any other thing. If the child evolves in an environment suitable for him to identify that his value is not linked to his performance level, then he is more likely to have a high self-esteem later in his adult life because he will have no or a very small, fear to fail. If failure does occur, a person with a higher level of self-esteem will also be less affected by it; while the latter will put the blame on external factors for his failure, the one with low levels of self-esteem will automatically blame himself (‘I’m not worth it’, ‘I suck’), thus lowering his self-esteem even more. It is possible to measure self-esteem in one given individual, and several methods are available for that. One of them has been developed in 1967 by Stanley Coopersmith and is still largely used today. Three main dimensions are present in his inventory: general self-esteem, family self-esteem and social self-esteem.

In our daily life, self-esteem has built a strong link with optimism. If you are optimistic about your chances to succeed in a project you need or would like to engage in, not only your final success will be more likely, but it will also bring you a raise in your self-esteem level as you can be proud of yourself. Optimism itself will grow bigger as well, triggering the start of a virtuous circle. Resources and optimism used can be behavioural (if your behaviour can influence the way the situation will turn out eventually) or emotional (if you have no control at all over the situation). Adaptability is thus influenced by self-esteem. This explains why people with a low self-esteem take less action than the others and, in the end, succeed less. If you think this is your case, you need to take action now!

ByAnxious Minds

How to Improve your Self Esteem?

As we have seen in another article –see An introduction to self-esteem – self-esteem is a capital of our social relationships and of our ability to take action in our everyday life. With a low level of self-esteem, it is much more difficult to accomplish all the tasks we would like to, and this level can also actually trigger the installation of a vicious circle – the less self-esteem you have, the more you are likely to fail and the more you fail, the lower your level of self-esteem will be.

As one can easily imagine, dealing with that situation and getting your self-esteem back to a normal or acceptable level is no easy task, especially without the help of other people evolving in your environment. Now, we will equip you with some tips and tricks to boost that self-esteem, without having to ask your peers to praise you just to make you feel better.

Before anything, the first step is to make a sort of inventory, to assess where you really stand regarding self-esteem. Indeed, you need to know what you are talking about before engaging in any process. How are you supposed to fix something if you do not actually know it? Just thinking you are not good enough is not enough to be able to boost your self-esteem, because the core of the problem does not lie in that simple sentence.

This technique comes from cognitive-behavioural therapy, where you spend a lot of time identifying irrational thoughts and trying to know yourself a little bit better before starting any “fixing” process. So how do you actually get started on this? Well, the simplest thing to do is probably to sit down with a piece of paper and write down your strengths and weaknesses. Force yourself to find as many strengths as weaknesses. While helping you identifying what you should work on, this inventory will also show you that there is a lot of good already there in you.

Once you have done that, it is time to set yourself some goals. Be extremely careful here, as these goals not only need to be goals, they need to be REALISTIC goals. Indeed, setting yourself some unrealistic expectations that you perfectly know from the beginning you will never achieve will do nothing but lower your self-esteem even more.

Do not dream of being crowned King of England, as it will probably not happen. This also works with much smaller expectations; do not wish for your boss to stop being an asshole because you know what? If he enjoys being like that right now, he will probably never stop! The only thing is that his behaviour, despite not being changed, just should not affect you anymore.

Learn to grab hold of your accomplishments. Be proud of what you do and of what you achieve. Acknowledge what you do for its real value. Even if cooking a beef bourguignon seems like an easy thing to do for you, it is nonetheless an amazing skill. There is gold in your hands! Too often, society is creating an image of perfection that might not be yours. If what the media says is not your ideal, then why should care about it? Set yourself free of all the speeches around you if they do not fit your vision of perfection, of what you would like yourself to be.

If it helps, keep a written track of all your achievements, so you can look at them, visualise them and realise all the things you are actually doing. If you currently believe you are not achieving anything, well that should change quickly. Also, learn to value and cherish your mistakes. Far from preventing you to reach your goal, they are actually teaching you a method not to get there. They are a great opportunity to learn and to grow, not to pity ourselves and embrace the negative self-talk. Be thankful for the mistakes you make, as now you know what not to do in the future, and this will help you a lot. I am sure Barack Obama knows a few things about how not to become president of the United States.

When you are up to that point, you will be ready to embrace self- exploration. You have identified your strengths and your weaknesses, and learned how to be thankful for everything you do. Now, get ready to open yourself to new opportunities. Try new things, think differently, and try new friendships. You might not know that, but it will actually help you a little more to know yourself. Knowing yourself will make you happier and more confident. If you know what you really have to offer to the world, your self-esteem is less likely to fall down. If you know your resources well, you will not think that you have no value, simply because you will know it is not true. Take risks!

Of course, all this will require you to build a new image of yourself. The old, “I suck” image of you will have to be flushed down the drain. It is also completely useless to rehash the same things you used to do over and over again. For instance, it will lead you nowhere to think about how you used to know how to play the violin when you were a kid, but you do not anymore. If you want to play the violin, all you have to do is to take it out of its box! Furthermore, acknowledge all the things you did not know how to do then, but you are now doing every day. Is it not all worth it in the end? I personally think it is, and so should you! In a nutshell, do not evaluate yourself in comparison to what you used to be but to what is happening right now. Stop living in the past.

Last but not least, to boost your self-esteem, stop giving so much strength and value to other people’s opinions about what you are. Their comparisons can be unfair. Why would having 4,000 Facebook friends make you a better person than if you only had 300? Only compare things that are comparable. In another word, do not compare yourself to others but to yourself. This is no easy task for sure. But in the end, you will be so pleased with the results that you will quickly forget you had to put in, trust me on this one.

ByAnxious Minds

Accepting Yourself

Some people change their behaviour to suit their surroundings and company; they are chameleon-like and tailor themselves to be acceptable to their peers. They present their inauthentic self.

People alter themselves from their authentic selves by a need not to be rejected or judged unfavourably. They morph into someone different because their insecurities tell their minds, sometimes relentlessly, that they aren’t good enough as they are.

However, acting against to your innate personality has the opposite effect because it makes it more likely that you’ll be judged or rejected. As you pretend and hope to kid people, they sense that their version of the “real” you are insincere, inconsistent and that they don’t know you.
People instinctively know when something is not quite right, and it makes them feel uncomfortable. From this discomfort comes avoidance and dislike. Ouch.

Note to self:

You are unique, and you are great, you are good enough. As acting is exhausting so give yourself a break and accept you, it’s not easy, but it offers freedom.
Look deep inside you and recognise the situations and people that make you, the real you, disappear and your actor takes to the stage and by being more self aware of your actions, behaviour and emotions you’ll meet yourself, and a lot of us don’t know who we are because we are too busy worrying, so when you do meet yourself chances are that you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Make friends with yourself. You’re lovely, and you don’t need to be perfect, no one else is.

Using the array of social networking sites to connect with people around the world is a hugely popular method of interaction, however, as it is not true interaction you can feel lonely and isolated. After all, it’s you and a screen wherever you are; it’s not as though the other participant is sitting on your sofa with a cup of tea.

Did you know that year on year a higher percentage of people are seeking therapy and counselling for social media related issues, like being unfollowed or defriended or if they were made fun of about their weight or appearance in an image they placed on their page?

You might think that could never be you but just ask yourself if you measure your popularity, self-worth and acceptability to others through social media.
Social media is a great concept, but it has a downside.
People’s confidence, happiness and mental wellbeing can be decimated via this medium.
So, this could be you.

If you think that this is already you, then please contact us, attend our support group or join our closed Facebook community. You don’t need to be alone with negativity.
We don’t have waiting lists or time limits, and you don’t need to be referred to connect with us, we’re friendly, encouraging people who are walking the same path towards mental health. You’ll grow stronger with us, and we think you’re great already. What have you got to lose?

ByAnxious Minds

7 Steps to Thinking Better: Your Brain Power Boost

Most people, especially those who are not as intelligent as Einstein, would want to have a boost of their brain power. If you are one of those people who want to think better, your brain power boost might be just a few steps away.

These seven steps might help you in your quest to keep your brain working perfectly fine.

1. Engage yourself in a Regular Exercise

Do simple exercises like a simple walk or jog. It may not be as intense as a full-blown work-out. You just have to keep your body physically fit and active.

Simple work-outs may trigger the release of neurochemicals known as endorphins. These chemicals are responsible for making us feel happy, and by feeling more joyful, a more positive effect on the brain can be observed.

2. Supplement your Diet

Natural supplements are believed to have a good effect on the brain. These supplements not only keep your body healthier, but they also maintain the fitness of your mind; thus resulting in better brain power! These supplements are so popular that they can be found anywhere, from your local health and food store up to the web pages of the internet.

3. Use your Brain

If you are to exercise your body, you should exercise your brain as well. Use your brain muscles more often ñ think and learn. You may read, talk with other people or even play educational games. Any activity that can keep your brain working effectively may be tried out.

4. Play Games

Choose games that will have a good effect on your brain. Refrain from playing games which are no-brainer. Nowadays; most computer games are designed to exercise your brain, so all you have to do is to choose well the games that you will play. Gaming consoles are also following the fad into increasing brain function. So, do your part in boosting your brain power, play games that will improve your brain power.

5. Enjoy an Educational Hobby

Choose a hobby that will give you some lessons at the end of the activity. This will not be such a difficult task since most of the time, we learn something from our experiences. Just be sure to do things that are not monotonous. Your hobby should be something that will help you learn new things every time you perform it. This way, you will be able to use some parts of your brain which are left unused before.

6. Sleep Well

Sleeping is the time when your body rebuilds and recharges itself. Most professionals believe that you should sleep for at least six to eight hours a day. Aside from these hours, you should also try to take ten-minute power naps. After these refreshing sleep and naps, you will surely feel energised to take on more activities for the day. Do not deprive yourself of sleep, and you will then realise that your brain will function better with more hours of sleep.

7. Relax

Because of the complexities of our society today, your brain is exhausted just as much as your body. Thus, you should take the time to relax and cleanse your mind of the worries and stresses that might overwhelm your thoughts. You may want to try on spas or meditations to give your mind a break from all the hassle. After the relaxation, you will feel that you are prepared to take on another complex day! This is how you make better your brains health and performance.